I have no reason nor motivation to live. What should I do?

I ashamed to say I have no future, I’ve been given many opportunities in life, so I could have a future, but I lack any desire to have one.
I come from a very middle-class background. My older sisters were over-achievers and have a lot going for them, and despite us attending the same prestigious all-girls (public) school, I don’t.
My father left last year, and I, being a typical fourteen-year-old with too much optimism in life, was in a state of shock. I don’t particularly know why, he wasn’t much of a father anyway. And my mother, she means well but I just don’t like her. I don’t like either of my parents. And I don’t mean “OMG, I FUCKING HATE MY PARENTS. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND ME,” as any normal teenager would express dislike at their parents, only to be soon reminded, that in fact, they have an unconditional love for their parents. No, I genuinely do not like my parents for who they are. If ever I feel any bit of love for them it is purely out of guilt of not liking them, because loving your parents unconditionally is always expected. Don’t misunderstand me, they never abused me or anything, I just don’t like them, and I would have nothing to do with them if they weren’t my parents. And this passive dislike also fits my relationship with my sisters. Have you ever heard the saying, “Friends are the family you choose for yourself,”? Well, I always reverse that to suit my own situation, “family are the friends you didn’t choose to have.”
Enough about my family, they are only the start of my problems.
I have no friends. Not that I really want friends anyway. Well, I associate with a couple of people from my class, but we have nothing to do with each other outside school hours, and I know that they don’t like me they’re just too afraid to tell me to get lost. My social life is truly non-existent.
Which brings me to my next problem: I think I have a personality disorder. Possibly Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia of some description, or Paranoid Personality Disorder, or better still, a delightful combination of all three. Not to mention Hypochondria.
On top of that, I have secretly struggled with an eating disorder for the past two years (since I was 13). I don’t want to get anybody else involved, they think eating disorders are all about vanity and blame it on the media, when my eating disorder has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Which is why I am recovering, alone. Well it’s not entirely secret, the only people that don’t seem to know are my family. I seem to have a habit of broadcasting my eating disorder, probably because I am so narcissistic. Don’t misunderstand narcissism, Narcissus did not fall in love with himself, he fell in love with his reflection. Meaning that, the only way I have any self-worth is through everybody else’s perceptions of me.
I’m trying to recover from my eating disorder, but for some reason I don’t want to, because I will have nothing to hide behind when I am mentally stable, and nothing to blame for my eccentric ways.
And just to ensure that I am a complete failure in life: I am a pathological liar. I lie in the same way as any other Narcissistic person does. I log onto the internet to be myself and to tell the truth, yet I always seem to find myself lying again. I get a thrill out of lying, I lie at any chance I get without any shame at all. I am an excellent liar, though I lie more so to fool myself rather than to fool others, as a form of escapism you could say. Sometimes the lies get to be so much I cannot separate the fact from the fiction, which generally, I like because I don’t feel any guilt and I can never be proven wrong.
I also have to mention, probably as a result of my eating disorder, I am asexual. That doesn’t mean I reproduce by myself like a strawberry plant, it means that I have no sexual desires whatsoever. Which could be problematic in this undeniably sexualised modern world, where everything social is sexual.

And to top it all off, I am extremely cynical, and I have no hope in myself or in mankind, I am extremely pessimistic. Global matters affect me on such a personal level that I have very little time for my own worries, except for my occasional rant, i.e., now. I spend hours just thinking. I’d like to paint about my feelings but I now that my mother will want to see my work and she would not be pleased. I hate my own generation, who seem to mill around with no real purpose. I cannot stand that; I have to have meaning. But while I have nothing to live for, I also have nothing to die for, so suicide is out of the question.
Please don’t tell me that someday I’ll wake up and the sun will be shining and everything will be bright and happy and lah-dee-dah! I can’t wait that long, I’ve been like this for quite some time now and I’m definitely giving up hope. No material thing could ever change the way I feel, nobody could ever make me happy.
But I would have some short-term happiness if you spared me the story about when you fou
(Continued) found God, and your life dramatically changed. I’ve been searching for God for quite some time now, it seems HE’S the one not making any contact with ME.

I’m 15, I’m not running out of time, I’m running out of motivation to live. Motivation that I never really had I suppose, I’ve just suddenly realised my desperate situation.

What can I do?
There definitely is such thing as asexual humans. About 1 in every 100 is asexual. Get educated: http://www.asexuality.org/home/
I’m almost certain that this isn’t just a teenaged phase, so please take me seriously.
Also, spare me the Michael Jackson quotes. His life wasn’t exactly inspiration (through no fault of his own, might I add).

And can I just say, 3 people have starred this question. What sort of twisted person would star a mental health question? *laughs*.

best way to lose 5 pounds?

Hi! so i’m 15 years old and i weight 117 pounds and i’m 5/4. I wear a 34D, and i’m aware that adds about 5-7 pounds to me. i also wear size 1/2 jeans. Being a teenager we are all faced with the need to be super skinny, and sadly im a victim. Im skinny, i know i am but i feel that losing five pounds could be good for me. I just recently started taking meds for ADD 15mg of Focalin XR in the morning and 5-mg of regular Foclain around 4. My meds speed up my metabolism and completely kill my appetite. Some days i go 500 calories and others i go 2000 calories. I have recently started working out every day doing multiple cardio workouts with 8 pound dumbbells. My question is with my habits how long will it be untill i shred off those pounds. I know 3500 calories= one pound, and that if i get rid of 500 calories then ill lose weight. but i’m also aware that it doesn’t always work like that. I try to eat healthy, and i’m very educated about nutrition. Lastly and other methods you can recommend to lose weight without going into starvation mode and other workouts to burn arm, and lower Ab fatt.

math questions help please!!!!?

my math is over basic sample info and i need theses answers of atleast help please best anwser 10 pts!!!

1. A city survey plans to ask residents whether they favor using public funds to pay for a new baseball stadium. Which of the following would present the most accurate data?

A. Ask people who call in to Sports Radio.
B. Ask every tenth person in the phone book.
C. Ask every fifth person at Dick’s Sporting Goods Store.
D. Ask the senior citizens who live at Park Place Senior Center.

2. Which of the following survey questions is NOT biased?

A. Would you rather spend a relaxing vacation in beautiful Hawaii, or crazy, congested Las Vegas?
B. Would you vote to allow messy, dangerous dogs in the park?
C. How often do you buy lunch in the cafeteria?
D. Do you agree with the store’s unfair policy for returning purchases?

3. Easy Meal Food Company is developing a new barbeque sauce. After revising the recipe a few times, the people in the test kitchen – a crew of four – agreed that they have winner. Why isn’t this an accurate measure that the sauce will be a success all over the country?

A. The surveyed too many people.
B. The survey included children.
C. They surveyed too few people.
D. They did not survey any women.

4. A group of biologists are studying orangutans in their natural setting. Which of the following represents discrete data?

A. The number of orangutans less than 1 year old.
B. The amount of time they sleep each day.
C. The weight of the male orangutans.
D. The amount (in pounds) of fruit they eat each day.

5. Students at Montgomery Middle School were given an assignment to collect data about how the town feels about building a new skate park for teenagers. Which of the following would be a random sample?

A. Ask people as they are leaving the super market.
B. Obtain a list of town residents from the City Income Tax office and call every tenth person.
C. Obtain a list of all the parents in the Montgomery School District and call every third person.
D. Ask people who are walking in the park.

6. Which one of the following is an example of continuous data?

A. The number of dogs in a house.
B. The possible speed of a bike.
C. The number of socks in a drawer.
D. Total attendance at a track meet.

7. Which of the following samples would give Ben the best representaiton of the reading habits of the students in his school?

A. Select students in the library.
B. Make random phone calls to people who live in his city.
C. Select workers in the cafeteria.
D. Select every fifth student he meets in the hall.

8. Rex wants to find out what the students at his school think about pop quizzes. Which of the samples is the most representative?

A. 30 students at random in the cafetria.
B. 26 students in his math class.
C. Everyone in his chess club.
D. 5 students on his bus.

Best way to tell my parents I’m a smoker?

I’m 32 and have been smoking for 16 years. They have caught me smoking when I was a teenager living at home but they think I have quit since then. I live far away and only see them 3 times a year while I’m on vacation. They think I’m a health nut because I exercise all the time and eat well but the truth is I have never quit smoking. I try to cut back to a couple a day when staying with them but find it too stressful to hide it from them.

I’m ready to tell them I’m a smoker so I can relax more when with them. Eventually, I hope they will accept me as a regular smoker.
What is a good way to bring my habit out of the closet?
Please refrain from telling me to quit, smoking is the only thing I do that is bad for me and I would hate to quit. I only smoke 8 to 10 cigs a day.
Good idea Katie, that is probably the best way. Perhaps when I get out of the airport and we are walking to the car together would be the best time.

How to lose that “pear” shape?

OK. I am young, and I understand that I shouldn’t be complaining about weight. But I want to lose my pear shape. I have a small shoulder and torso area, but my hips seem to go out too far. My hips go out farther than my shoulders. It also makes my legs look fat. Also I wear a size 10 for pants in women’s, which means that my butt is big. I really don’t want a big butt, due to the fact that it makes me feel bad when I go up and up in pants sizes but stay the same torso measurement.

I don’t know how to properly do a diet, and normally I only eat lunch during school days, and weekends I eat about 1/4 of each of my 2 meals, lunch and dinner, due to the fact i get up too ate to eat breakfast; I get up on the weekends at 12:30 or 1 most of the time. Also I don’t eat because I don’t feel a want or need to. Or sometimes I dislike the food. Like Mexican food, the smell makes me want to puke. I’m really picky when it comes to food. Also I tend to eat only meat, and if possible, I eat whole loafs of Italian bread (really bad at stopping that habit). I absolutely hate sausages though. Also I am normally dehydrated most of the time, due to the fact that I wear a retainer and during the night, it tends to dry out my mouth.

Also I have joined a soccer team, which first practice was today, and when I came back home, I felt like my stomach was sucking itself into my belly button. You know that really bad pain that comes. Also I couldn’t run as fast as the other girls or even keep up without having to stop, and then try to catch my breath. Also I need to figure out an exercise that I can do inside, due to the fact that my neighborhood is only as good as Cabrini-green.

I know I hardly ever exercise and that I am really bent out of shape because I spend a lot of time on my computer or the game systems, and that I tend to stay on them for hours on end, but I really would like to know how to lose weight so I can feel better. Right now I want to lose my fat, so I can go outside and feel great when it comes time to summer. This year I want to go outside during summer, but only if I look right.

I would absolutely love help. But I don’t feel like puking, due to the fact I don’t eat a lot and it makes you dehydrated. Or starving myself because I like to eat. I tend to stay home and I want to at least make myself look like a human. I don;t want to look like a teenager on top and a fat 50 year old for legs.

If you can help, thank you and I would be happy to hear from you.

Should I apologize to him?

I met my boyfriends parents for the 1st time last week. All went well. We ate at a really fancy restaurant and the conversation was good and everyone was happy.

I excused myself to smoke a cigarette after the main course without thinking anything of it. On the way home my boyfriend gave me grief for not waiting until later to smoke a cigarette, for some reason he did not want his parents to know I smoke. I dont really understand where he is coming from, I am very opne about my habit and have been doing it around my parents since I was a teenager, I’m now 27.

Do you think he owes me an apology or do I owe him one?

does my BF have a weak prostate gland?

He wakes up at night to use the washroom once. He is in his late twenties, a vegetarian and his father had some prostate gland history. He also was diagnosed with a Urinary Tract Infection before few months which I hear is rare for men

1. I make him eat raw onions, broccoli, tomatoes at lunch five days a week which are good for prostate health. What else can I feed him?

2. He has a bad habit of jacking off after watching X movies. I reprimand him that this is teenager behavior and he should give up. When do men give up this habit?

3. Is ejaculating bad for men’s health since nutrients are lost and stresses their prostate gland?
After he ejaculates, he feels weak like a busted balloon. I tell him not to do it if it stresses him so, but he still does it.

Is it ok to hate your mother?

Well I know my mother loves me a lot but I just can’t help but hate her.

Anyways when I was young my mother would always hit me hard across the face when ever I miss behaved and when I was I grade 2 I was always being beaten up by these two teenagers my mother used to watch and my mother would just watch or ignore it like nothing was happening but OH NO if they were even so much as rude to my brother hell would be raised. Her son also admits that I always ended up with a lot of bruises but my mother denies ever seeing any of it. She also used to make me feel useless by saying I was worthless and never made up for it by saying sorry.

Even now she still every once and a while puts me down for anything I like for example if I like something like pop she gives me **** for it and I know she means well but when she says I never eat anything healthy it really hurts because she knows I don’t like a lot of junk food. I also eat the same meals she eats just not as much so I don’t understand why she would say such things. She also has a horrible habit of pissing me off because she wont admit she was wrong so instead she just tells me to **** off or she’ll hit me.

She tells me she loves me and tries to act like it and tries to buy me lots of stuff but I can’t help but feel she’s just using me to try to be a better mother for my brother to come home from the foster home. Because when he’s home he can get away with what ever he wants. I mean he can insult me call me pathetic or worthless and if I say anything like that she gives me **** for it.

Try so hard to love her but when I think about the fact that her neglect and abuse made a suicidal twice and I ended up dropping out of school last year because of it makes it even harder. I mean I;ve tried to kill my self like 9 times and failed and I know she means well by trying to get me help but every time I tell her it’s her fault she ignores the fact and just says well there’s really nothing we can do about it now.

I will admit I was a little hard to handle once grade four started but that was because I ended up being afraid of people. Im now extremely well behaved girl who is in grade 12 doing grade 11 and work just finished all four courses on a computer.

Their is a lot more to the story but it’s classified information and it would really make this thing to long so im going to end it there.

Note: I don’t normally refer her and my brother as my family members. So if I say something like her son or that damn woman it’s because I wont acknowledge them as my family anymore.)

So my question is, is it ok for me to hate my mother even though she tells me she loves me and tries to get me stuff when ever she has the money?

Should I keep writing this…?

K I know this is really long but I don’t wanna get too far and it not be good….
A Summer to Remember

Chapter one:

“I’m going running!” The screen door slammed behind me, and I jumped. I am really not used to that, or anything else in Lone Elm. It is nothing at all like New York. New York is extremely famous and over-populated, and Lone Elm is extremely unknown, tiny, and under-populated. 
               I live with my mom in New York City, in an apartment right across from the city museum. So, as you might guess, I am used to a lot of noise and commotion. What I am not used to, is total peace and quiet, which doesn’t sound like something that would bother someone. It doesn’t bother me, its just, different. Everything is so different.  I am not exactly happy to be here. I am not a country person, I am what you call a city girl.  I have never ridden a horse, and I have never been fifty miles from the closest mall.  So you are  probably wondering why I am spending my summer in the smallest town in Missouri,  right?  I chose to come here. I felt like doing something out of the ordinary and unexpected, and that is exactly what happened. I decided to spend my whole summer break with a man I barely know, and haven’t seen since I was six years old. I decided to go see my father. 

Chapter two:

Since I barely know my dad, things are very uncomfortable around him.  He has never raised a child, or a teenager in my case, and he has no idea what to do. He doesn’t know what my bedtime should be, not that I need one, how long he should let me sleep in, or when meals should be.  He just eats whenever he’s hungery. So I could if I wanted too, stay up all night watching scary movies, and sleep in all day the next day. But I know i shouldn’t do that, because if I got into the habit of it, I know my mother would have a fit when I got back for school.
            Ouch! I tripped on a raised root and scraped my knee. It was time to get back anyway. I followed the trail back to my dad’s house. When I passed him, on my way to get a band aid, my dad asked, “What happened to your knee?” I couldn’t tell if he was concerned or curious. Like I said, he never has any idea what to do.  ”Oh, I just tripped, no big deal.” I replied opening an oversized band aid. “And you’re sure you are ok?” 
He was concerned? I replied, “Yup, fine.”
              I started to climb 
the stairs to my room to get my things for a shower when he asked, “Hey, Julia?” “Ya?” “I was just wondering, you know, if you would like to go to the bonfire tonight. You know, to meet some people. You wouldn’t want to be lonely all summer.” What had gotten into him? He probably talked to my mom. She would probably get him into the concerned-parent mood. “Um, what time?” I asked. Not that it mattered, I had no plans. He was right, I was getting a bit lonely. “Well, I’m leaving around six,  and you might want to come with me. Before, you know, before it gets dark.” He said “you know” a lot. It was almost like he was nervous to talk to his own daughter.  
             “Okay, I’ll go. But, just so I know, what is a bonfire?” I had never even heard of the word before. “Oh, um, well…” he didn’t know how to answer this, obviously. “Well it’s just, uh, a get together. It’s when people bring in unused wood, and uh, they light it. All in one big ‘ole pile. And there are grilled hot dogs, so we can eat there, unless you don’t like them.” “It’s okay, I like hot dogs.”
                  Wow, this will be the first time I have gone anywhere with my dad in the two weeks I have been here. I have never been to a bonfire before, and I am kind of nervous. I am not sure what you do when you get there, And do they keep the fire fenced off, so people don’t trip and fall into it? And how late does it go on? Well guess I will find out when I get there. 
 
Chapter three:
 
I got into the car with my dad. It was six fifteen, and the sun still hadn’t started to go down yet.  My dad was wearing  blue jeans with a few rips in them, and a plaid flannel shirt.  He looked like the typical farmer, just missing the straw hat. 
            Some of my curly blonde hair fell in my face, and I remembered, I had forgotten to do my hair! After I got back from my run, I took a shower and got dressed. Then we left. I had forgotten to do my hair and put on any makeup! At least I didnt have any zits and had a hair tie on my wrist. I pulled my hair to the side and braided it. I checked it in the side mirror.  It was  loose a some of my long bangs hadn’t made it in, but it would do.  Just then, we pulled up onto a gravel driveway.  
                        ~ ~ ~           
     The bonfire was nothing like i thought it would be. it was in the back yard of a little brick house, and there was a horse pasture